By Eline Kullock
Today I come not with answers, but with questions. Lately, I’ve been hearing lots of people complaining about how Gen Y doesn’t have the same sense of respect other generations had. They don’t really respect their parents, their elders, or even their Professors.
Past generations, knew that their parents had gone through a lot of trouble to make the world better for them. Our Professors, (while, there were some crazy ones, I admit) did everything possible to make class more interesting. Our grandparents (at least my grandparents) tried to teach girls to sew, believing that this would make a positive difference in our lives. We tried to avoid these sewing lessons. Escaping, while always maintaining a visible level of affection. We didn’t want to hurt our grandparents, of course. They wanted to teach us, though we often didn’t feel their lessons were particularly useful or relevant.
In the movie, “Va, Vis, et Deviens” which I’ve already cited in another post, a mother gives up her son to another mother in Israel, because she doesn’t have the means to raise him. The boy does go live in Israel, but he never forgets his real mother. Once he graduates, he goes to find her, in Ethiopia.
Gratefulness, acknowledgment, and love, are constantly present in the mother’s attitude. She gives up her son, so that he can become someone and something in the world. The same feelings also exist in the boy. As a young man, he searches for his mother, in the middle of a refugee camp, in pain and in solitude, searching for hope. This movie moves me in various ways, and this is why I’m referring to it, yet again on the blog. The mother’s dedication and certainty that her son will return is very touching. A certain scene makes me cry, no matter how many times I watch the film.
Today, some young people feel that their parents don’t fulfill more than their basic obligations, especially if they don’t buy them the latest computer, TV, or car.
Today many parents give their children elaborate vacations, trips abroad, and stays in extravagant hotels. They hand over all the money they’ve been saving, their heart booming with pride and accomplishment. And I wonder how these kids actually receive these gifts. Actually, perhaps the adequate question is how they deal with gifts, often feeling that it’s simply part of the parental obligation.
Often, upon returning from vacation, parents greet their children with affection. They ask, “How was the trip my dear?” In return, they usually get a sentence that would barely fit on Twitter. The response being an unenthusiastic, “It was alright.” To parents’ despair, the much-needed details are not provided.
But when and why did this all change? When did acknowledgment become banal? What has changed in society? What has changed the way we raise our children so that they don’t realize that we are doing the best we possibly can?
I have two sons. Andre is the youngest, and he’s 25 years old. When he was 7, he made me laugh a lot, when he wrote me a note saying:
“Mom, know you don’t have to treat me like gold anymore, just treat me simply as your son.” I still have this note today. I’ve framed it, and plan on giving this precious note to his children one day!
Daniel is my eldest son. He’s already married, and the father of my granddaughter. I feel for him when he wants to kiss my granddaughter and she responds with, “Not now daddy, I’m busy.”
I want help in understanding when and why the world has changed. The way children notice, measure, and acknowledge, the love of their parents has changed.
My questions are: For the parents who feel that they don’t give their kids enough, does this have to do with being emotionally distant because of work? Do parents express love in the same ways as in the past? Does school have a role in discussing this topic with students? Why or why not? Is love weaker in today’s society? And has parenting become all about obligation?
If we’re able to understand these questions, though I know they’re not easy to answer, perhaps we can reflect on how businesses should deal with Gen Y’s general feeling (of course there are always exceptions), that the world is there to serve them.
Perhaps, we can prepare Gen Y for a world in which nothing is free. Even in a collaborative society, even with the Wikinomiks model, and even with the best of friends.
The feelings of gratitude, affection, love, and empathy, are all emotions that prepare us to truly be a part of this world. If this is not learned or understood, we would all be autistic. We would be a sad world of 6 billion solitary people. We would be unable to build anything as a society, or as a family. Even for our own children.